Krash (the_big_bear) wrote,
Krash
the_big_bear

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loosing a friend sucks...

It's been three days since I've spoken to her...I miss her...not just in a g/f way.  I miss e-mailing and talking to her, hearing about her day...talking about *stuff*.  She's moved on to another guy that's been waiting in the wings for years...whatever...we made a very deep, personal connection.  She said that we'd always be the best of friends...every time we'd talk, I miss that closeness that only two people whom are intimate can share.  I'm happy for her, I really am...but I miss my friend.  I've vowed not to call, contact her...if only to see what she'd do...today will be the forth day without a word.  Unless I contact her, it would appear that it won't happen...loosing a close friend does indeed suck.

big_bear_love

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The bad timing for us sucked. The communication issue added insult to injury. I care about you. Always will. I told you we'd still be friends, and I meant that. Part of it is that I know that you're hurting, and I just didn't know what to do or say. I didn't want to try to act "business as usual" because it isn't. Things have basically been over for 2 months, but now that I have started to move on it's weird for both of us. I won't get into detail because we both know the details, but because of those details things had changed. I still care about you, but I just can't turn back the hands of time. My door is always open to you as a friend. I wouldn't want it any other way.

I have been feeling very conflicted the past week. Happy about the new start, but also feeling a bit despondent because of you. I am hoping to happily move on as this other person is a great guy, and if there weren't other lingering feelings between us you would think the same of him.

Do I know what the future holds? No, but what I do know is that I needed to move on to help heal from the pain from the past two months. I didn't want to wallow in the hurt.

What's done is done, but as I've said many times again, I am your friend. My biggest concern is your feelings as I do not want to hurt you any more than you are already. Isn't that what friends do?

As I've said before, this is a complex situation to be handled with kid gloves. I miss talking with you about random stuff. Our daily emails to get each other through the day. Our vents about our daily life events to each other. You know, the normal "business as usual" stuff. Hopefully at some point after the heightened emotions have subsided we can get back to that. I miss my friend as well.
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